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I ended our previous blog on this topic with this:
Ironically, it's not about having stronger boundaries in the sense that our Western view continues to tell us to "take care of ourselves first", or not to let in the toxicity of others. At times the teachings of Yoga (philosophy, psychology) seem to conflict or to present a paradox. In fact, even the physical teachings of asana (yoga poses) can seem conflicting. Teachers will encourage students to "go deeper", and in the same instruction to "accept the present moment as it is"
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Don’t Get Stuck at What Not To Do
Several years ago, in our 300-hour yoga therapy teacher training program, a student asked an earnest and pivotal question about the language of yoga. I felt the fire of my passion for elegant language tools that elicit the experience of yoga for our students, in their brains, bodies, hearts, minds, and relationships. (Learn more about our 200hr + 300hr Yoga Teacher Trainings here.) In fact, her question was so stirring to me that I actually had a hard time staying in my own seat. I wanted to jump up and give a thorough demonstration of Language Styles, including a fervent exposé on what is not working in parts of our language culture in yoga. The Language of Yoga: Part Two – Focusing on What To Do
While I was only able to begin this conversation in my last blog, I hope I opened your ears to consider how language is being shaped by our contemporary yoga culture. The problems that I see with some of the current language trends in yoga—not merely in vulnerable populations, but also across the yoga industry—are both a misuse of language and a missed opportunity. I celebrate that we have the opportunity for a discussion that can help us to be shaped by how yoga was meant to be transmitted. With the following language and personal development shifts I am recommending that we allow yoga to shape us—rather than us attempting to shape yoga. This wonderful question came to us - electronically - and is deserving of a thoughtful response. Since we aren't in a real time, in person dialogue, I'd like to offer this reflection in two parts. Beginning with a wider view, and then moving to a more intimate view in the second blog.
Learn about our Yoga Psychology Training here. How Does Yoga Create Secure Attachment (if it also teaches non-attachment)? Somatic Secure Attachment In the process of yoga, secure attachment networks are neurologically stimulated, and interpersonally nourished. As we teach students how to have more consistent, more nourishing, more relational attitudes and considerations of their physical body as a resource, their sense of being in relationship with their body changes. How they relate to their musculo-skeletal, physiological, and neurological expressions is a reflection of one layer of their attachment networks. As historical trauma lives in the body and brain, the somatic practices of yoga - including breathing, sensing, moving, respecting, reflecting, and inviting their body to be integrated into their life in healthier ways - stimulates new ways of being in relationship with their personal ecology. As I was instructing the Mother-Daughter Yoga at Kripalu last weekend, and the Yoga and Love retreat at Breitenbush two weeks ago, I witnessed the collective effect of the residue fading and the radiance returning. In relationships that may include resonance, intimacy, poignancy, complexity, conflict, despair, angst, joy, and longing. To trust the process of lessening the residue, as a way to welcome back love and connection, means learning a new way of being together. Yet, so much of life seems to be about doing. What can we do to create intimacy, avoid conflict, secure joy, and to prevent angst?
Yoga allowed me to see more clearly.
I didn’t even know how distorted my vision had been. For all of us, yoga has the capacity to clear the lens through which we are seeing. We become lucid. How we see and what we see becomes beneficial to humanity. In fact, the Rishis, whose visions were lucid and timeless, were called the Seers. From their clear-vision (clairvoyance) the Upanishads – or divine poems – arose. (Rishikesh, the birth place of yoga, is named for the Seers.) Darshan. The experience of seeing and being seen.
We are born with a deep hunger to be seen. At our birth and infancy, our survival depends on it. As we grow and evolve, we do so through risk, intuition, and vulnerability. Sometimes clumsily (our new born deer legs may wobble). Sometimes gracefully (we catch the wind under our wings). In the early morning walk to the hot tubs, I recalled how many times I’ve tread this exact path for over 25 years, and how many others have done so, too. I also remember the moments when my awareness opened up to recognize life beyond my own skin, life beyond my own joys or sufferings. It was, in fact, walking amongst these trees, alongside this river, in the mystical mornings before preparing breakfast for 120 overnight guests at Breitenbush Hot Springs.
One of the great gifts of yoga is in opening to the mystery that is living itself through our lives. Saying yes to this mystery, we say yes to the full participation with life: each inhale opening; each exhale, bowing to the ocean of this mystery. From this viewpoint, all I see around me becomes the divine mystery, manifesting itself in these many, many forms. Seeing the world this way gives a poignant and sweet sense of intimacy with everything, a boundlessness of heart.
Meandering into Meeting My Teachers One of my teachers was born into a family lineage. His father is his guru. And his father’s father before him. His father is also his inspiration, his devotion, and thus he knew there was a path already prepared for him. When in his presence, the loyalty he expresses toward his tradition and his family pierces my heart.
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